As it Began~

This is a story of how my life began again...I can recall three particular events that reached so deep inside of me that at the time I wasn't aware of the impact it would have in the unfolding of future events and my evolvement and growth into the person who I would continue to become. This by no means projects that my growth has stunted or that my evolution and purpose has come to a halt...this is just the story of how things became and continue to become! I share some personal things in this post and think it is important to share our stories because when we are in a moment of discouragment or faced with huge obstacles there is the point where we must feel inside ourselves and tune into the signs for the answers to freedom. We have the choice to re-create and start over anytime, anywhere.
Event numero uno: One day some 4 years ago I picked up an Oprah magazine and it flipped open to the article "You are your own doctor". At the time, I was partying heavily, staying up all hours of the night, ate processed food, tons of sweets and cared more about my appearance than anything. I'm not even sure I knew what a soul was then or felt my heart and I sure as hell didn't respect myself. My digestion was horrible, my skin started breaking out, I had no energy and I felt like something was very wrong with me internally. The fact that this article appeared to me meant that I was given a choice. A choice to see this as a message to change my life. And if I didn't choose to do so, well then who knows. I ate fake meat and loved vodka. I wore high heels and a ton of makeup. I fake tanned for so long that I had no idea that there was a beautiful olive glow under all of the orange. I bleached my hair and then dyed it as dark as night. My extremist personality put me in the bad health I was in and I was ready to take my life back. This is where I did the unthinkable to most of the people around me. I started eating real food. Whole foods. I ate fish, vegetables, grains, eliminated gluten and all refined sugars. I received colonics to flush out all the bad so that all the new nourishment could be welcomed in. I threw out all my chemical laden products and switched to earth friendly products. My discovery of raw African Shea butter changed my life and if I have held onto one compulsive habit it is to slather myself in this buttery love daily and I will continue to do so, hopefully forever! When I switched my diet everyone around me thought I was weird. They said, 'Oh live a little!' 'In order for me to live,' I said, 'I must do everything as close to the earth as possible, this includes what goes in and what goes on my body.' I spent about a year researching holistic ways of healing. With this self-learned knowledge and not the help of any doctor I healed myself. On this journey I learned my body and what it likes, what it doesn't. The creativity of composing food fresh from the farm with what I had on hand was the way to express myself and I thank my unhealthy path for leading me to my healthy one!
Event numero dos: My soul and heart were dormant for a long time. I remember opening up a baby book during a holiday gathering and saw myself smiling as a child and I started crying. I cried because I missed being that innocent, playful child that I longed to be again and was ashamed of the life I was living with no purpose and only intentions of consuming toxic drugs and alcohol until I couldn't remember what happened. My life was a blur and I was disappointing all the people around who actually loved me. I wanted to feel pure, full of love and be the creative child I once was. The emotions I felt while seeing a beautiful reflection of myself so young and vibrant, sparked something and opened up my heart and soul just enough to nudge me further into purpose and leave behind all that did not serve me.
Event numero tres: One evening I was in the basement of my parents house and I found a photo tucked in some stuff in a box shoved behind some other stuff. I picked the framed photo out, wiped of the dust and stared at it. It was a silhouette of a bare tree with the sunset colors of the sky in the background. I was enveloped in its stunning beauty. When turning the photo over, there was a handwritten personal message from a man and a quote by Sigurd Olson, 'The point where days are governed by daylight and dark, rather than by schedules...where one eats if hungry and sleeps when tired becoming completely immersed in the ancient rhythms...then one begins to live'. At the time I had no idea what the hell that meant. Now I have this tattooed on my body as reminder of a major turning point in my life and to stay as close to the simplicity of this life as I can because this is what truly gives me joy and meaning. I thank the man deeply who took this photo, wrote this message and for the photo finding me. The significance of this event has no doubt influenced much of where I am today.
So, here I am. There I go. Discovering all the adventures moment by moment. Being in the moment and appreciating every bit of it!
We must love ourselves fully, every part of us, including the past because it has in some way or another delivered us to this very day.
My heart keeps opening, my creativity flows more each day and the synchronicity of events keep getting more magical. I thank all the women and all the men in my life for all you have shared with me, all you have taken from me, all the reflections you have projected, all the hurt you have caused. You are all my teachers and I thank you for being a beautiful friend in this way.
May the journey continue :)

Welcome the magic~

Love,
Earth Mama

So It Is~

You know what's great? Is that we have no idea what the hell is going to happen. Ever. We do have super powers such as intuition and hearts to guide us and if we listen very closely to these then we are indeed connected to our path and life's purpose. But in the midst of all these questions we have...Am I living in the right spot? Is 'the one' out there, and if so what does that look like? What am I supposed to be doing? Do I make enough money? Do I need to go meet this person for tea or this other person for a hike in the woods? Do I eat this chocolate or that chocolate? So many questions! Do we let the mind take over or get out of our heads? OR do we embrace our crazy knowledge filled noggins and channel it into neat and  nifty ways of thinking? Because if we feel with our hearts and those instant feelings in our guts first, then we have a pretty good chance of knowing the answer. AND we must also know that some things are out of our control and we must let them GO. We must. If there is nothing we can do about it, without manipulating or scheming up ways to make it happen then we have the beautiful option of letting it go. Send it to the wind...and let it be carried away wherever it needs to go. Perhaps the wind will change directions and something will come back to us that we never thought could, but this is only possible if we let it go in the first place. There's also the possibility that after time we will realize that some things are better left to dance in the wind. As far as making things happen, I do not discourage you from doing this. Make it all happen! We are powerful beings and where there's a will there's a way! Where there's heart there is the answer and no matter what happens along the way we can be assured that, damn straight we are on the right path. So, think with your heart not your head. If something feels good in the moment, then it FEELS good. Enjoy every bit of it thoroughly. Moments like these come and go, so seize them and be thankful. Sometimes our mind will kick in after and strew bits and pieces every which direction and have us completely caught up in nonsense which will derail our  emotions and insides. This is okay though...because all that chatter will die down once actions are taken. Actions make it happen. Manifest...does this work? YES. Once you start believing and syncing with the rhythms more and more then things will start happening...just...like...that! Get yourself in alignment. We have so much energy flowing through our bodies we must make sure that any tense-ness is worked out. We can be holding onto things for YEARS, stuff from when we were kids. Release it and be sure to fill all the new space with goodness. Receive massages, adjustments, Reiki, Bowen, acupuncture, have a friend find your pressure points. The power of touch my friends, is a powerful thing and much needed. If you don't believe in energy just do it because it feels nice. Then, once you start feeling the effects, poof there is the energy flowing. If you don't have money, call it in. WORK HARD. Most importantly, work from your heart. Even if you make $0 and you have heart, drive, dedication~ You are on your way to manifesting much abundance. The gold lies within the rainbow. If you are calling in a relationship, then trust. Trust that whoever it is that's out there IS and that once you stop looking, seeking, searching so hard and you start doing things you love...they will be right there. Open your heart first...no one will see an opportunity in a closed heart. I believe our thoughts are very powerful and if we think with intention then they do become tangible. I have also come to know and understand that drinking a glass of wine or hot apple cider by the fire during the fall time makes my entire body melt and that putting on my hiking boots with a tall cozy pair of socks, a thick fleece, and my backpack full of goods to trek through the woods and mountains makes me feel ALIVE. When I read poetry to the 89 year old professor poet I care and cook for my eyes well up with tears because his profound presence touches me in a way that I cannot describe. When I feel and imagine what it's going to be like living in a tent for 5 months in the desert of Mexico, my soul dances a little jig inside my body that cannot be contained because I know that life is going to change more than I can grasp. I feel that when I cook for my clients...when I stir the soup, my love is circulating and that they feel the gift I am giving. Keep on giving your gifts. That's what we are here for. Our whole life is like Christmas, giving and receiving. Flow with life...because life is beautiful!!! Enjoy everyone and everything, be grateful for all that exists.
Gratitude is the open door to abundance!
Spread your love and light every moment of everyday and when you aren't feeling so shimmery then put on your plaid pajamas, scrunchy socks and allow yourself to read a book, paint, dance, play music, cook up some soul food, or just simply nestle deep within your covers and rest. We must have rest to reach our greatest potential.

Sigue a tu Corazon,
Tierra Madre

P.S. Don't forget to enjoy the ride along the way to whatever it is we are on our way to...

United Border of Beauty~

A few days ago I ventured outside of America for my very first time, and while not traveling very far, just on the other side of the border in Tijuana~ there was something very magical taking place. To some Tijuana may be a city of danger, dirtiness, crime, rubble, and an eye sore. To me it was an amazing area of beauty and culture where the shift was felt when stepping foot out of the truck and connecting to the land, feeling the bright hot sun on my face and shoulders, the breeze blow my hair back and welcomed by the locals with bright smiles and LOVE. Our journey started by crossing the border and driving through the city which gets flooded every year during rainy season due to its location at the bottom of the river valley. Tijuana's landscape is extreme with land dipping low and rising high. Houses are built upon poor foundations and the continuous building on these poor foundations leads to crumbling houses in the landslides that claim lives each year. The estuary that you see while driving up the steep hill through the city looks beautiful with densely packed trees and colorful terrain. From afar it looks clean. However, when immersed in the depths the trash that litters it is immense and a huge problem. The Tijuana River flows through Mexico for most of its course and crosses the border at the end of its course where it forms an estuary that empties into the ocean. Here, in this spot are actually the last of undeveloped wetlands in San Diego County. Here, is also a lot of pollution, garbage, and tires. On our descent down  we headed to  Las Playas where the farmer's market took place, a small, bright market newly started and the only one in the area, perched above the deep blue ocean.. A beautiful group of Aztec dancers were performing sacred ceremony, drumming to the heartbeat of the Earth. While smoke from burning Copal sap (a sacred sap used in spiritual ceremonies to connect to the higher spirits) enveloped me I watched and felt the special ritual taking place. There were dolphins playing in the water, pelicans joined them and the day was beautiful! The journey continued on through Tijuana's rugged landscape. While exploring the hills and canyons I observed many tires stacked to form retaining walls to keep from causing further erosion, if not packed properly they will not do much good and the Earth will continue to wash away as the weather whisks through. This is a lot to witness and take in coming from somewhere where we pretty much have everything and anything we could possibly imagine. These people in Tijuana may not even have a stable structure to house them or water readily available, where we have houses that aren't even lived in because of foreclosure and are sitting ducks. But, you know what? Every native I passed there shined a big smile on their face and their family was close by. There were little girls holding hands, skipping down the dirt roads, men with their families driving around in their pick up trucks waving to us as we explored, and our new friend Jorge showing us very proudly, his nursery, Vivero de planta nativa hormiguita. The nursery had native Nopal cacti, Mexquite Trees, Higo (figs), cilantro, chilies, bountiful amounts of the most sweet delicious mini yellow tomatoes, rosemary, an assortment of squashes, and so much more. It was a really beautiful place to be and I am thankful for being able to experience being there.  In the same location as the nursery there was the home 4 Walls International built out of tires, bottles, very little lumber, and a stucco made with the gelatinous slime of the Nopal cactus. Right on! There was also a built-in rain water catchment system along with a tank to recycle grey water. The next step is to create the composting toilet. The bigger vision is to create a community of these homes~using the tires and bottles that litter the city to create sustainable homes where people are sufficient within them. A big garden will be created where the home's grey water will feed into providing a lush garden for the community to nurture and eat from. It's a beautiful plan and one that will happen because the people at 4 Walls are dedicated and driven to making this vision come true. I have heard for years that Coca~Cola was better down in Mexico and while I do not fancy soda I did have to enjoy a nice refreshing glass while peering out into the vast canyons of Tijuana witnessing galloping horses in the dust.  It was all part of the experience, and it was damn good. Despite the 'poor' way of life there I felt a lot of beauty and much happiness.  The realization that really hit harder than ever for me was that in order to survive we must have 4 things~ shelter, food, water, and love. This is it. Everything else is extra. I'm not saying it's not nice to have nice things like raw cacao pudding but it is not essential, unless of course you do have a cacao tree then you are blessed and I would like to live with you. If you don't have it you don't miss it and even when you have it it doesn't mean much. Material possessions are just things. They aren't living or breathing. If everything was taken away from you what would you need? Could you survive on the very simplistic notions of these 4 elements? Life can  be full of abundance poor or rich. Happiness and love lie within each of our hearts. We have the choice to nurture that light inside so we may share it with others. Love drives life, it does indeed. Our focus should be on the food we eat, the people we surround ourselves with, the APPRECIATION of every gift we receive spiritual and tangible, and the openness of our hearts to fully give and receive love. We are all connected and here to help, teach, and share with one another~we must live from compassion and work together. We must know that we are of the Earth and that the beauty of the cycle of life is dependent on one another. Look in nature~everything works together to continue to thrive. The water from the rain feeds the tree, the flower on the tree blossoms, the bee feeds on the flower and pollinates providing sustained life for the tree and oxygen for all. Work together and create beauty! Thank you to 4 Walls for your hearts of gold and drive to change the world! May each of you change the world in your authentic way!


'We have entered a period in history that is prophesied by many cultures as a time to leave behind a colonizing world view and recognize that we are one community, a fragile species living on a tiny planet. These prophesies are consistent with the shifts in policies that we are now witnessing throughout the corporate world and the world at large.' -John Perkins


Mucho Amor,
Earth Mama


Check out 4 Walls International online by going to their website. Please donate to this amazing organization!  http://www.4wallsintl.org/

Love~Unconditionally

Sometimes...sometimes there are many distractions. Sometimes there are moments where I take a breath I close my eyes and I feel how lucky and blessed I am. Today was one of those particular moments of feeling very blessed and full to the brim with happiness. Today I woke up, put on a flowy peach dress, descended down the stairs and strolled through the open door to the beautiful space outside absorbing all its colors, smells, warmth, light, and love. I had no agenda, no sense of time, just a flowing day free to take me wherever it's enchanted spirit decided to. I am very lucky that I have found a nurturing space to call home, that I share with 6 other unique, beautiful friends. Since the idea of this community space was born there has been many stories told and many more to unfold. Many have moved out and on to their life's calling, and new vibrant energy has come in making and sustaining the vision of what Roothaven is all about.
I am really loving my to do lists as of late. Today it went something like this:
-Pick lavender to make bundles to smudge with
-Pick wild fennel to tie in a bunch to hang above my doorway for strength, adversity, and fertility
-Lay in the grass and absorb the sun
-Explore the land
I feel that creating ceremony in our lives is very essential to a fulfilling life. Ceremony, ritual, whatever you may call it~it is necessary. This does not mean you have to paint yourself in a sacrificed animals blood or dance naked under the stars while chanting to Mama Moon (although both I am not opposed to doing if I am so called to do), but rather create something that is special to you, perhaps just you or perhaps it is something to share with loved ones. I suggest having both. My morning ritual or ceremony is to wander out barefoot to the chicken coop, greet the chicks with some breakfast, water, and massages, gather their eggs and thank them gratefully for the beautiful gifts they provide us with. I then make sure the bird bath is full of water and I stroll around the land observing the new growth, the life that has passed on, the smell of the dry pine needles, I feel the heat of the sun and the sweat drip down my back, the Earth underneath my bare feet. I make a lemon, honey, sea salt lemonade tonic and sip on it to refresh my core. I hula hoop with my beloved home-mates, conversing about the beauty we share and our plans to contribute to the world we live in and the Earth we live with.  I make some dinner and feed the chicks before it's dark. I then close up the coop kissing them all goodnight and wishing them sweet dreams. I may climb the roof at sunset and honor the sleeping sun and the subtle glow of mama moon with a yoga practice or simply just let my entire body relax and feel the evening breeze creep across my skin. This home has and is allowing me to create a beautiful, sustainable, real relationship with myself. I feel more beautiful then ever before~the beauty that resides within is shining bright~
The time I have had to spend with myself in this space has been essential and important to my growth. The relationships that have formed, nurtured and stood strong within these walls will forever be in our hearts. I am feeling the pull to get back out in the world. To leave my nest and fly...I was even driving behind someone the other day in midst of discussing traveling plans and their license plate said 'GOFLY'. If this wasn't a sign than I don't know what is! Truth is that there are some really inspirational people that float into my life, deliver a message and leave...every time they leave I may be sad or heart broken but they have all inspired me into the next chapter of my life and I thank them gratefully for that~for there is something to learn from everyone we meet. Now, I will put my energy into volunteering my time and to travel, immersing myself in other cultures~learning and sharing. My hearts desire is to fly, so fly I must. However, I do believe in the importance of rooting oneself and really listening to our heart's calling rather than fleeing from fear. Grow roots and then spread those wings! I'm listening and actively taking initiative of changes that will get me following the yellow brick road I see beckoning~

Let the blossoming love and sustained coupling of our coexistence continue and our love flow through each other freely, strongly, and truthfully. Always and forever~

Love unconditionally~
Earth Mama

Te Veo

I feel, I wish, I ring the bell 3 times and I receive low and behold CLARITY. Hello shimmery, reflective, crystal clear waters of life, embrace me in your waves and take me on this beautiful ride, this transforming journey! We are living in this very moment, right now. When things arise we must grasp at them in the opportune time because in reality friends, these chances only come at certain windows and either we listen to our hearts and we jump on the train, or we let them pass us to go to a far distant space where we do not exist. Truth is what our bodies must tell each other. I am experiencing much opening in the area of allowing truth to come into my life. Do you know who you are? Not your job, or your name but DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE? Do you feel your soul? Can others feel and see you? Are you living authentically as possible? Open to possibilities, listening to your heart and not ever ignoring your heart's calling? WE are given a gift, a beautiful present called INTUITION. This feeling that dwells within our core must never be ignored even though we sometimes hope or think that if we set that feeling aside things will go along how we expect them to. However, our intuitive gift is there for us to OPEN and express ourselves, follow our truth and continue on this beautiful path we call life. We must be clear on what it is we are here to do. Every day is different and the past is the past. We have the present moment to guide us through the next door of opportunity and we must dive through the door which is always unknown. We create our lives to an extent and then some things are out of our hands, but as long as we trust and know that out path is purposely laid out for us...we must believe.
I am so grateful for everyone in my life, and when someone SEES you, actually sees you and you feel soul recognition, my goodness it feels...it feels so damn good. Sometimes polar opposites occur and we must know they are connected. Some may not see your soul or your worth, feel your connection. You mustn't question yourself, you are beautiful and exactly who and where you are for a reason.  Just when your roots get a little lifted and your feeling a little unstable a soul mate swoops in and sees who you are, feels you and recognizes the love you emanate and lets you know. With this soul recognition our roots rest in the ground once again growing deeper and our resilient souls shine!
The truth, integrity, and love from true soul mates whether friends, family or lovers is very special and we must recognize and be aware of the beauty they hold in the present moment. Be open to them coming into your life because it will open your eyes~
We must hold ourselves accountable for our feelings and actions and must always be honest. To lie to ourselves and others would be detrimental to our souls and theirs. Key into the ancient rhythms around you~ do what grounds you, what feeds and nourishes your whole being and continue to expand. We never stop growing as long as our horizon is free of clutter. Create your space and HOLD IT. WE are worthy of anything and everything we desire. I am forever grateful for the evolution I am part of and all who cross and continue to be part of my path. Truth, integrity, love, and respect are the moral attributes of the space I create. Thank you to all who contribute these, my love for you is infinite!
TE VEO!

LOVE~
Earth Mama

Living in a Glass House

Do you live in a container? If so what does it look like? Is it concrete? Green? Surrounded by a fence? Are there laws and rules-so many you can't think straight? Are there Coke bottles and trash littering the ground? Are there miles and miles of lush meadow? A forest of trees? Birds flying around and beetles scurrying on the ground? Can you breathe wild air? Sneeze when pollen floats into your nose? Can you twirl around in circles dancing to beats in your head and the rhythm of the chirping Cicadas? Can you taste the berries wild from the bush? Is all your food wrapped up in a plastic package? Can you follow your intuition? Are you allowed to even feel what your heart is telling you? Are people awake or walking asleep? Is there moss growing on the rocks where the waterfalls flow? Are there bright colors painting the walls of your container? Is there dirt under your toes? Can you roll around and feel the dew drops on your flesh? Can you feel your heart beat calmly? Can you stretch your arms to the sky and hit no barrier but more and more and more and more freedom? Is your creativity nurtured? Is your love received and given with no limitations? Do you sing from the deepest part of you soul so loud you make the animals in the forest turn their heads to listen? Do you strip your clothes off embracing your naked, beautiful body~embodying your essence? Is your spirit free to float outside of your container or is your soul contained? Do you live in a container at all?
Lately, I have been going through personal revelations of discovery. I suppose this is happening all the time but most recently I have been diving deeper into the meaning of life's purpose. And what the hell does that mean? I feel that the more connected we become to the Earth, the more we open our hearts and we feel EVERYTHING~and I mean everything. The more we relax and soak up the sun rays, the more we share ourselves, the more we play the guitar or the didgeridoo, the more we dream, the more we sing, the more we stretch, the more we cry, the more our muscles ache after a long hard day working in the yard, the more we enjoy nature's bounty and paint what we see on a canvas, the more we are authentic and stand in our TRUTH, the more we LOVE, the more we tell stories around a campfire, the more we drink wine and feel all inhibitions float away, the more we enjoy every bite of food we eat that nourishes us with life, the more we befriend and become inspired by all who cross our path, the more we are free the less clutter we have in our lives, the more we let our pheromones float to our lovers beyond the more intimacy we welcome into our life, the more barriers we overcome the more newness we let in, the less rules we have the more we express . The more we do all these things, the more we are truly living. We are not meant to live in containers. We are meant to live freely roaming the land. We are meant to know ourselves and we know how to survive on our own as long as we let our deep imbedded instincts guide us. There is a lesson hidden in every leaf and rock~Our teachers are all around us. They are our elders, our mates, our children, the animal kingdom, the trees, the ocean, the sunsets, the spider webs, the beehives, the flowers.
Really, life is about creating life. We are here to create~Authentically!
Keep on creating!
LOVE~
Earth Mama

Foot Tales

I recently went to AMVETS and found a pair of shoes. Not any old shoe let me say, but a pair of Keen Hiking Boots. Just my size. And for $8.49. They are in perfect condition and better yet have been owned by some wanderer before me who moved on from his beloved boots and  made them my new treasure. I'm not kidding when I say I feel like a super hero wearing them! I wear them everywhere always ready for spontaneous adventure . The first day purchased they were tied to my feet snuggly as I whisked into work seizing the day and bouncing on heavenly clouds (mind you I work at a bakery/cafe so the only rugged terrain I encounter is crumbs on the floor). The set out intention for buying them was for my camping trip that weekend and knew my bare feet (while my first preference when in contact with the naked Earth's soil) wouldn't stand the stray jumping cacti bits and frolicking I so longed to do on the simmering sand and tangled bramble of the vast beauty filled desert. Little did I know my life would transform into adventure every day as soon as I put them on! I look forward to the stories created in these boots and am happy I have some help to delve into the furrowed landscape of beautiful Mother Nature! It is funny to me how much more joy it brings me knowing that these were someone else's. Since there is a tale they tell that I may never know except if I listen to my footsteps on the terrain I do and  plan to explore. With the intentions of going to REI for some of the same boots that would have cost me close to a $100 I imagine, went with an open mind for treasures of others and recycled goods, headed to my local thrift store. However, I do fully support REI since they are a Co-op and of course a Mecca of everything outdoors~ which I can easily get lost in for hours like a pup in a pet store even taking naps in the star gazing display tents. I'm sharing to express the point of people's unwanted items being others treasures. Why keep producing so many unnecessary items when there are so many homeless items looking for a good home? I'll tell you 5 years ago the thought of going into a thrift store did not excite me because I wanted something NEW! New is better right? Not always. Just like animals, there are so many to adopt without 'breeding' new ones. Our society is so obsessed with the newest and the best not realizing we have SO MUCH ABUNDANCE HERE ALREADY! Take advantage of it. Whatever it may be...feel the beauty in the character something used before you expresses! Just because something is used doesn't mean it is unworthy. And in my case it happens to be a pair of super hero hiking boots that I am going to use to enjoy the beautiful lands of the world!
Me and my boots are off to trudge through the oat grass in the gully in search of Milk Thistle to harvest!
Beautiful day to you my friends!

SO MUCH LOVE!
~Earth Mama

Liberation Vibration

Roothaven- A sanctuary of love, peace, and space to feed our blooming souls and create the moments of our lives. This is where I live, with my family of beautiful souls. So much has happened in the past few months of our big move into our beautiful energetic space. Our mission was to come together and create a sustainable, earth conscious home full of love. What does this mean? It means we collect spring water from wild springs, come together and make dinner for one another, we cry and share our lives, we smash our fingers when hammering our homemade chicken coop, we lose a cat to the coyotes, we raise 10 baby chickens, we do yoga, we eat a lot of honey, we listen to music and we learn how to harvest psychedelic cacti such as the Native Indigenous cultures did to connect and listen to Nature and to elevate consciousness, we find a deer who sacrificed her life after being hit by a car and we take it, process it and feel her energy through our bodies as we sharpen our twigs and roast it over the fire loving and appreciating every moment of her precious life, we learn from each other, we grow with each other and we have no idea what is going to happen next. To some this may be crazy to us this is life. We are enjoying the wild life and living simply bringing us abundant happiness. These are the moments of our lives and I am exactly where I need to be right now. It's funny to be so excited of the smell of horse salve when visiting the local feed store to collect straw because it reminds me of when I was a child. That I have gone back to my roots and that I am doing everything I went away from for a long time. All we have is this earth to love and to take care of and there are so many of us walking asleep. WAKE UP. There is no search for what we should be. We ARE. We are here to nourish our bodies, to cherish the Earth and give thanks to all She does and to respect everything living. I am finding more and more people who are joining together to start communities so that we may  come together and make things happen. To share. Ever wonder why everyone before us traveled in tribes? CommUNITY. Everyone had their role and they did what they needed to do to survive. Now we get sidetracked like robots missing the whole point of our mission and mechanically operating through society very much asleep and told not to dream. DREAM, DREAM! and know that your dreams are reality. The saying ' back to reality' is a fallacy. Whenever you experience something so great that your body feels alive and energy is surging through your veins such that you feel like you are in a full body orgasm then embrace it, feel it, love it, know that this IS the moment. The moment of shift and it is NOW. Ahhhh feels good doesn't it? Now is the moment so what is happening right now? Well, we know Mother Nature is powerful and she is the love of our life but at any given moment can use her powers to balance herself out again. Japan has experienced great tragedy and we are all here loving you and sending our blessings. This brings up a lot of fear in people and for some ignorance. Yes, we can ignore the fact that it hasn't happened here in our home. But it is happening because we are all ONE. True it is life and no matter what geniuses we have on this planet The Mother will always prevail and be more powerful. How do we work with her? What do we do as a collective community to join forces and love her with our hearts utilizing what she offers us? We take and take and take and what do we give back? Where is the balance? We need to get back to basics. Back to simplicity. I feel as if we believe that we will have abundance always and the water we drink, flush our toilets with, brush our teeth with, the cars we drive around fueled by oil, the paper we use to write notes on, the food we buy wrapped up in plastic and then put in more plastic and perhaps even mounted in Styrofoam. These resources will not be here in abundance forever. WE need to shift our consciousness, become aware and connect back to the very essence of our being. Every morning walk outside barefoot and feel the dew on your feet, close your eyes and feel the power of the Earth rise through you connecting you back to the beauty of life. I feel as if it can be a bit overwhelming with all of these changes we need to make from the 'sleeping state' and we wonder how in the world can we get to that point? Just know that you can do it. You can. Be it whatever it is you can start doing wherever you are at-growing your own garden, feeling the soil, seeing your food grow and appreciating every nourishing bite as it feeds your physical body and heightens your mental clarity. Find a spring near you and collect your water from the source or choose a family member or friend to help you out and trade them for something. Create a bartering system with your neighbors, your friends, your co-workers. Eat with your hands. Use candles for light, we all need more fire in our lives. Build a fire outside and gather round with loved ones. POTLUCKS!-such a beautiful way to share life and food together. Use a wash tub in your kitchen sink to continually use for dishes and then use the water to water your plants! Use earth derived products ie soaps, toothpastes, shampoos etc. Anything that goes into your body or on your skin needs to be something you would eat. Skin is your largest organ and breathes, do not not suffocate it with chemical laden products and poison is no good for our Mother. Go outside and find wild food! Ground yourself, get creative and think outside 'the box'. Share what you are doing with everyone you meet and plant seeds so that each one of us can grow and blossom sharing our love and shifting towards a bright light in harmony. I am grateful and honored to have this life and want us all to unite so our massive energy can feed our Mother and give her the nourishment she has so lovingly given to us. Respect yourself, respect the ground you walk on, respect every living organism in your presence. Compassion and grace.
Much LOVE to all of you...Peace and Blessings~
Kristin

Life-In Bloom

Oh dear lovely God, the excitement of embarking on a new journey is seeping out of me and cannot be contained. I feel like every experience in life has led me up to this moment. The universe has joined a beautiful group of us together to form our own Commune. Our very own living space with lots of love, creativity, simplicity, sustainability, sharing, and vibrant LIFE. For years I have been searching, searching for my path, now realizing I was on it this whole time. 'For when you stop searching, what you want and need will come to you'. I suppose there is truth to this. Life has unfolded into a whirlwind of gifts and this is the biggest present of all. The crazy thing about this whole occurrence is the way I can remember every single event that led up to now, that every decision that was made unraveled into this very moment.
I watched 'The New World' (the story of Pocahontas) and told my friend Nikki that I was determined to find my John Smith. A few days later he appeared at my work and oh my, I thought he was the one. My adventurer, artistic, passionate John Smith. He made my heart dance and pour love out like it had never before. Soon after our short romance, finding out that like John Smith, he was headed out on his voyage and he wasn't mine after all. My heart broken, my immediate response was to run away and escape, but also made me ambitious to start something new. I was accepted to a natural chef program in Santa Cruz and was going to embark on this journey with my dear friend, Nikki. In the meantime I reconnected with Mr. Smith and he invited me up to his beautiful cabin in Tahoe-how could I resist? Accepting, I invited my yin-yang twin Lani to take part in this vacation. The universe hard at work decided it would be best not for him to be there while I was, allowing Lani and I to dog sit for him instead while he was away so that we could have a peaceful, amazing, life changing experience all to ourselves. Realizing that I could not afford the school in Santa Cruz,  I planned to move anyways for change and to re-start my life yet again. I had been encouraged to enroll in a Yoga teacher training program in San Diego but was indecisive on what to do. Lani being the grounded one told me that I should take advantage of everything that has been established in San Diego and go with where life was taking me. While on our whimsical Tahoe adventure we drank wine, ate chocolate for breakfast, kayaked in the aquamarine, cerulean waters and had no concept of time or communication with the outside world. This is what was needed to make one of the most influential decisions to stay on my path. I decided to stay in San Diego, and as you know, went through with the Yoga teacher training. This is where I met Hannah. We were discussing communal living (which she had grown up on a commune-AWESOME!) and she introduced me to a friend who also had the same interest. The weekend we found our home I had visited a community living space downtown in the Ideal Hotel and was able to experience what life was like in their community. The building was old and overflowing with character and history, complete with claw foot bathtubs! That night Hannah and I visited a communal living space in Ocean Beach and drank hot cocoa with new friends who had lovingly accepted us into their home. We asked the leaders how they started this beautiful place and they replied, "We told the universe what we wanted and it came to us." What did we want? We wanted an old house with stories flowing through it's walls, land we could work on, a space that we could pour our love into and let our passions expand. The very next day the universe must have been listening. While we were drinking lattes, noshing on poached eggs with wild mushrooms in sage beurre blanc and licking up lavender honey at a little French cafe, our home we had been asking for appeared on Hannah's phone (literally it was on the listing when she pulled it out) waiting for us to scope out its magical grounds. It even had a claw foot bathtub!  We immediately drove to the property and fell in love. A 1920's home on 4 acres waiting for love and prosperity. Our group of 6 formed immediately and now the concept of our commune has been born. We are all artists and teachers in some way shape or form, all having a trade, all having our roles, ALL having the same intention-to form a sustainable, loving, creative community where we can share our love with one another, to learn how to live together in a spirit of honesty and compassion, to live as self- sufficiently as possible. We are starting off the new year in our new home. Oh my, how are our lives are going to change...and others around us. This is going to be the start of something we can't even grasp right now...all our visions melting together and creating something extraordinary. This is something well worth documenting...stay tuned :)

-We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make our world. -Buddha

We are making OUR WORLD :)

The Birth of...ME

The end of teacher training? Already? It's concluded and all I want to do is go back to the beginning to do it all over again, study more, not hit the wall of rebellion, and absorb more yoga. But mostly I don't want it to be over because of the bond I have made with my fellow yogi classmates and enjoying the presence of our instructor Melissa with us every weekend pouring out her knowledge of yoga and life. However all of these things are frivolous thoughts because I did the best I could at the time, and I DID create lifelong relationships with my yoga clan. If I could recommend one thing to everyone I encounter (besides raw chocolate) it would be to go through a yoga teacher training. My life has changed. I can feel it outside my body, I can feel it inside my body, I can feel it all around me. I have opened up so much internally that it has become intimidating to recognize the ghastly realizations of my discoveries since it means changing. I am a huge advocate for change, but that doesn't distort the scary factor, that leap of faith that needs to be leaped upon be it relationships, jobs, obstacles, or breaking old habits. I thought I was 'aware' before I jumped into this immersion of all that is yoga...and now I come out of it, AWARE. When you reach a higher level of awareness, brace yourself. There is no going back. These wheels are in motion and the doors that have opened to get here have now closed and locked behind me. It's time to enter the new doors that lie ahead. Patience of course must be practiced and the events that await will soon come to me. I will remain confident in the fact that I AM ME, and that I will not sacrifice that for anything or anyone. I will not say sorry for not knowing something. I will learn it and I will know it. Make a mistake, it is perfectly ok, you need some confusion so that you learn. It's all about experience. I will open-open-open my heart even if it means it's so big and vulnerable that it may scare you. Even if that means pieces of it will break, because I know that the pieces will be glued back together with more love. I'm going to remain confident and know that I can do anything, anything, anything! I can. You can. I will not question myself but rather guide myself through intuition and consciousness rather than emotions.
I'm scared to teach. I will not hide that fact. It stirs up my insides to think that people are going to seek me for learning. I need to study more, I need to mess up more. I need this to occur so that I can teach you. I want to teach yoga because yoga is the essence of life. I feel that everyone needs to dive deeper into the shimmering pool and encounter their inner peace, become aware of the meaning of life, know that within each and every one of us is enlightenment, something that cannot be reached from the material or physical world, but the world that resides deep within our layers. I want to share something so significant and life altering, something full of love and positive vibrations, something full of TRUTH and MEANING. I want to encourage my students along their path and keep them on it for as long as they are in this life.
I have no idea what is next, but I need to be prepared for everything that is coming my way, standing tall, heart shining to the world.
I have been born into a new beginning of my life...
Hello world, my name is Kristin. I am a YOGA TEACHER :)

The Great Wonder Wall

I haven't been posting for this latter part of my Yoga Journey, mostly because I hit a wall. A TALL, THICK, unbreakable (it seemed) wall. I rebelled against one of the things I love most, YOGA. This 'block' was big and stagnant and wouldn't budge. My mind started wandering to every other possibility I want to pursue, every place I dream of inhabiting, instead of focusing on the one thing I wanted most- to become a teacher. Wandering, dreaming mind...forever mysterious and playing around with the beautiful temptations that cross it. I stopped going to yoga all together for a week. It was my rebellion stage. I'm not really sure where it came from but it came from behind the corner and hid me from my passion. Hide and seek no more, I am determined to make it through this, even if it takes me longer than the 9 weeks. My teacher and mentor Melissa has been so wonderful and keeps telling me to see my light, that I have such a bright, blinding light. All of us do. I feel I do, but for some reason it is covered by a shade of gray in my heart. I'm trying to paint it with colors so that it vibrantly shines it's beauty, boldness, and grace. This past weekend was one of true wonder and kinetic energy. Full of birthday celebration, new friends, passion filled music, and my wonderful, beautiful mother came out to celebrate! Seeing her, let so much stress and pent up emotion pour out of me. There is something about family that cannot compare to anything else. Her being here made me feel secure and fearless. It was lovely. We had class outside on a grassy noll overlooking the ocean. I was at home in my element, as I could feel the energy flood the space around me as I instructed my admirable classmates into my very favorite of all poses-DANCERS :) Feeling the oceanic wind, smelling the salty air, gazing out into the horizon knowing there is a whole other world on the other side...so far, yet reachable, staring up at the clouds and being supported and loved by the vast universe that surrounds us as we lie on our mats in our final Savasana. Ahhh, this is magic. As if my magic mat could take me anywhere I wanted to be at that moment, but I was exactly where I wanted and needed to be. The next day of class we spent at one of my favorite places, Swami's. I threw my mat to the side and felt the sand between my toes. I drew a heart deep into the sand marking my space...closed my eyes and set my intention...to focus on the balance, the love, the gifts that come from every moment I breathe. Every practice different than the next. New day, new practice. Something positive and powerful is in the air and I have realized that this 'block' was only an illusion, just waiting to be broken down. I can do this, I will do this. This teacher training is the birth of something bigger than I can imagine. I am reaching deep inside the unknown and pulling out new surprises every time. I am so grateful for the amazing friends that I have made on this journey. My fellow yogis are beautiful, sensational, strong, teachers that I have, and continue to learn so much from. This is just the beginning for us. Wherever we are in life, see it. Recognize it. Accept it. Know that the blocks that bind us and try and stop us from pursuing our passions are not real, but ghostly images of reflections that we so easily can step through with ease and grace.
Love, Light, & Peace
-K

Ground Your Root, Shine Your Crown - What keeps you from your MUKTI?

What is the purpose of this life? We are all different yet we are all here on the same path, the same journey, WE are ALL striving for ONENESS, PEACE, ENLIGHTENMENT. We are indeed. So, how do we achieve this beautiful collaboration of desires? We find BALANCE. And how do we find balance? A lot of things. For me I find balance in nature, in drinking herbal teas, in my yoga practice, my meditations, eating juicy fruits, my long conversations with close loved friends, kissing, staring at the stars, cooking, reading, wading and floating through any body of water I find, making shapes from the clouds, soaking up knowledge from inspirational teachers, reading fortunes...and the list goes on and on.
Most importantly we need to assess the system of balance and low and behold these are The Seven Chakras present in our being, Seven Chakras in bedded in our spine from the tailbone to the crown of our head. Besides this there is 88,000 little lights of energy surging all within our presence. Our bodies, like everything in this world are an intricate weaving of ENERGY. When the Chakras are blocked our lives become imbalanced. The Seven Chakras consist of 1-Root, 2-Sacral, 3-Solar Plexus, 4-Heart, 5-Throat, 6-Third Eye, 7-Crown. Are you not eliminating waste freely from your body? Feeling sorry for yourself-always craving attention? Compulsive and excessive behavior? Heart broken? (Yes, it is true our hearts really do break). Having trouble voicing your dreams and what you SEE yourself doing in life? Stressed out? Not being truthful to yourself and/or others? Stuck in your mind and not willing to open it up to unknown circumstances-not willing to go with the flow? Not willing to surrender to the universe knowing that there is something greater than you out there, do you believe that physical reality is all there is? If you answered yes to any of these then get to work on freeing those highways of yours, remove the road blocks and experience VITALITY.
As I lay in my Savasana (Corpse Pose) tonight I closed my eyes and felt the most overwhelming, but welcoming sense of presence. I was there in that moment feeling the energy in my body and it was pretty damn amazing.
Ground yourself, love your body and express your sexuality, make sure your digestion is free and clear of blockage, create strong immunity and OPEN your heart, voice your dreams-visions, be sensitive and aware to surroundings outside the body, find balance between the physical body/state and the divine power within you...your soul. By being free you are honoring yourself, and you must honor yourself before making others happy. Become truth, trust yourself and go a little bit deeper...
ACCEPTANCE, CREATIVITY, COMMITMENT, COMPASSION, TRUTH, INTUITION, BOUNDLESSNESS and RADIANCE are the human talents we hold once we free ourselves...
MUKTI=Freedom
Ask yourself, "What keeps you from your Mukti?"
Love is Free,
-K

Soul Vibrations-My Intro to Meditation

Tonight our lecture was focused on meditation and hosted by a beautiful being, Yoga Dave. Meditation is a fairly new practice for me, that I didn't think I knew much about or how to get to that 'point'. However, meditation can be found in anything you do-breathing, washing dishes, dancing, listening to music, dreaming, walking, swimming, kissing, prayer, surfing, hiking, staring at the ocean, into the fire, up at the clouds...or sitting on your sit bones with your legs crossed and your palms facing up or down. You can even lie down and do it. Pretty much you can meditate many different ways, but make sure that posture is in check and you are comfortable where you are because you want to be free of pain so that your body can focus on just being. Before this class I thought you had to take special classes to know how to meditate, that you needed specific tools to reach this certain feeling of 'enlightenment'. I come to find out all you need is your breath, an open mind, and an effort to silence those scurrying thoughts. However if your mind wanders than that's alright! Just come back into stillness when allowed. Meditation is different for everyone but I feel the main focus is to escape the busy, stimulating, advertising driven, stress-filled, traffic jam of an outside world and find the inner world that resides well, inside of you. A world of peace, silence, love, compassion. A connection between the mind (that crazy spinning, super intelligent, complex mind of ours) and our heart. Be ZEN. Which means the act of nothingness, the most direct experience to reality, to not label anything and have no pre-conceived notions of what things already are. For each breath in and out create a new experience. Things are moving so fast in this world. So fast. How do we escape the craziness? What do we do so that we are not engulfed by this 'society' and we don't go insane? Ideally camping trips, hiking adventures, nature getaways is where I need to go for a few days here and there, but since my life is so busy at the moment then I need a more constant practice so that I may stay grounded and light. Through meditation I hope to achieve a constant flow of beautiful and positive energy that allows me to navigate freely into the world. Fear of uncertainties arise but nothing in this life is guaranteed. We are our own destiny. As I prepared for my meditation tonight, legs crossed, sit bones grounded into my block, hands cupped in my lap forming a little window with my thumbs, eyes closed, Ujjayi breath in...out, forming that oceanic sound-I heard people chattering outside, the room was hot, sweat dripping down my face, neck, chest, I focused on counting to ten first breath in 1, first breath out 1 and did so until I reached 10. If I lost my count I went back to 1 As I let the thoughts run away from my mind swirls of caramels and blacks rippled in their place. I was thinking nothing, just focused on my breath...then a huge whirling sucking sound appeared...ahhh what is THIS?? It was a vaccuum, they were cleaning outside. 1, 1, 2, 2, 3, 3, 4, 4...I dove right back into my focus. I like this, this sanctuary of nothingness. Dave said a beautiful thing about becoming a yoga teacher in that we have the opportunity to change many peoples lives by sharing the knowledge of what we learn and passing it on and within each of us we hold the power to do so...share the positive vibrations each and every day. Namaste.

Inhale...Exhale

Second week of teacher training has gone by and I have been learning an abundance of information about yoga....and myself. It's really a beautiful thing to be with a group of people that are so open with everything in their lives. It's helping myself, and everyone I believe to grow our trees :) Recently I feel like I've been experiencing somewhat of a quarter life crisis, since it is nearing that time coming this November 5th. Twenty-five. Whew. I've been stressed-which is a word uncommonly used in my vocabulary, exhausted, and I feel that my judgement has been clouded. So, I take this as life telling me that some changes need to be made, even though there is a lot of transition going on in my life, there are personal endeavors that need to erupt. Clearing my mind and making room for the new memories, the present moment, detaching myself from past people, situations that I know in my heart no matter what they have done, I need to have love in my mind and in my heart for. Love for all beings. Because love takes positive energy, an energy that doesn't drain the body of essential life. Anger, resentment, and regrets suck so much out without replenishing vital nutrients, and the only person I am hurting is myself. This also brings me to another elmination-sugar. Sugar is a friend of mine and it doesn't allow me to just have one zing, it makes sure and creates itself into all kinds of different personas so that I latch on to it like a needy companion. One day I might have a nice, simple, balanced relationship with this 'friend' but for now, during these next 9 weeks of teacher training, I have decided to say goodbye so that my mind can be clear of clouds and filled with light. Fruits are still going to be included, but refined sugar found in those delectable dark chocolate coated everything sold at Trader Joe's-adios. A new place to call home has also presented itself at a classical moment. I am moving in with a fellow yogi at the end of this week in a precious place nestled in one of the oldest neighborhoods in San Diego. There is a pecan tree in the backyard and the leaves on the ground remind me of back home in the Midwest. There's actually trees which is a nice amenity in San Diego seeing as the greenery here is sparse AND a glorious old antique stove. There's just something about vintage anything that brings me joy-it's a trip to the honored past. I am delighted for this new venture, with a new spirit. There are some other life alterations to be made within the near future, so I'm wishing and putting out in the universe that these happen, at the right time of course :) We were asked in lecture, 'What is Yoga?' Yoga is the place where I go to seek and find balance, to see into myself, to ground myself to the earth through all four corners of my feet, to go deep into my core and find that internal heat that radiates throughout every inch of my body, to OPEN MY HEART and shine it brightly to the universe...Yoga is my happy place. A plethora of information is being discussed and demonstrated in class and I am trying to absorb what I can. It still hasn't resonated that I am doing all of this to become a teacher. My instructor keeps telling us, 'There is a teacher inside of all of you'. This is the truth. Teacher inside of me, come out, come out wherever you are...

My Yoga Quest into Teacher Training

On my way to being a teacher? Wow, this is going to be a big obstacle for me! On our first day of yoga we were asked to get up in front of the class and talk about ourselves, why we loved yoga, what obstacle we hope to overcome...I figured this little presentation would come easy to me seeing as I have a history of customer service jobs therefor I am always conversing with people. As it approached my turn to make my way in front of the mirror to present to the half circle of 12 or so students sitting in our super nifty posture chairs (which I am so buying-they are wonderful!) my heart started to race and I literally thought it was going to leap out of my chest. 'Kristin, are you ready?' 'Oh, no way,' I thought to myself. As I faced everyone I said my name which I'm surprised I didn't forget seeing as I was shaking like a tiny Chiuaua, why I loved yoga, which I think I said the word balance numerous times, and then my obstacle, which I remembered and said that it was commitment. I am infamously known for this lovely trait and have a hard time fully committing to something. If things start to get a little hard, or demand too much from me then I usually opt for the easy way out and run away from it because sometimes it's easier to dream of something else and not give my whole heart to one thing. Now this isn't to be confused with things that I actually need to separate myself away from or things that I know pretty quickly just aren't for me, because situations arise like that also that I know in order to keep my focus and way of life I need to remove myself from the situation. But for me, this yoga teacher training is a HUGE commitment. One that I am very excited and a little scared of. I may talk to people all day but to actually TEACH, to actually have students come to my class because they enjoy what I have to offer, because they want to share the energy I put off and they want to learn from ME, this is a big, scary, amazing, aspiring role I want to become. We are all here on this earth to teach one another something. To share what we know. I know I am here to share happy, healthy energy with the people around me and yoga is essential in every one's lives who aspire to know their true selves, their higher being, their center. This whole thing kind of fell into my lap and I am going with it. I remember always admiring yoga teachers and admiring yoga and all it's meaning and always told myself that I wanted to get into this world, this happy, meaningful world, but for some reason didn't think it possible. My friend gave me a free weeks pass and I went every day that week, sometimes even 2x in one day because I loved how it made me feel so much. Yoga is my time, shared with others who are all there for different reasons. I am there because my practice is my happy place, it is my place where I can look myself into the eyes in the mirror deeply and know that I love who I am looking at and looking through (because sometimes it gets that intense) and I love this life that is given to me and this crazy outside world is but a place where I am an inhabitant of, but my life, it's mine...to do whatever I want with, to share with everyone, to open my heart, and to show compassion whenever and wherever I go. Yoga keeps me grounded to the earth and all it's beautiful perplexity. This is just the beginning of a very memorable journey and without a doubt KNOW that my life is going to change within these next 9 weeks, so I say to you change with an open heart and an open mind, 'Welcome' :)