Life-In Bloom

Oh dear lovely God, the excitement of embarking on a new journey is seeping out of me and cannot be contained. I feel like every experience in life has led me up to this moment. The universe has joined a beautiful group of us together to form our own Commune. Our very own living space with lots of love, creativity, simplicity, sustainability, sharing, and vibrant LIFE. For years I have been searching, searching for my path, now realizing I was on it this whole time. 'For when you stop searching, what you want and need will come to you'. I suppose there is truth to this. Life has unfolded into a whirlwind of gifts and this is the biggest present of all. The crazy thing about this whole occurrence is the way I can remember every single event that led up to now, that every decision that was made unraveled into this very moment.
I watched 'The New World' (the story of Pocahontas) and told my friend Nikki that I was determined to find my John Smith. A few days later he appeared at my work and oh my, I thought he was the one. My adventurer, artistic, passionate John Smith. He made my heart dance and pour love out like it had never before. Soon after our short romance, finding out that like John Smith, he was headed out on his voyage and he wasn't mine after all. My heart broken, my immediate response was to run away and escape, but also made me ambitious to start something new. I was accepted to a natural chef program in Santa Cruz and was going to embark on this journey with my dear friend, Nikki. In the meantime I reconnected with Mr. Smith and he invited me up to his beautiful cabin in Tahoe-how could I resist? Accepting, I invited my yin-yang twin Lani to take part in this vacation. The universe hard at work decided it would be best not for him to be there while I was, allowing Lani and I to dog sit for him instead while he was away so that we could have a peaceful, amazing, life changing experience all to ourselves. Realizing that I could not afford the school in Santa Cruz,  I planned to move anyways for change and to re-start my life yet again. I had been encouraged to enroll in a Yoga teacher training program in San Diego but was indecisive on what to do. Lani being the grounded one told me that I should take advantage of everything that has been established in San Diego and go with where life was taking me. While on our whimsical Tahoe adventure we drank wine, ate chocolate for breakfast, kayaked in the aquamarine, cerulean waters and had no concept of time or communication with the outside world. This is what was needed to make one of the most influential decisions to stay on my path. I decided to stay in San Diego, and as you know, went through with the Yoga teacher training. This is where I met Hannah. We were discussing communal living (which she had grown up on a commune-AWESOME!) and she introduced me to a friend who also had the same interest. The weekend we found our home I had visited a community living space downtown in the Ideal Hotel and was able to experience what life was like in their community. The building was old and overflowing with character and history, complete with claw foot bathtubs! That night Hannah and I visited a communal living space in Ocean Beach and drank hot cocoa with new friends who had lovingly accepted us into their home. We asked the leaders how they started this beautiful place and they replied, "We told the universe what we wanted and it came to us." What did we want? We wanted an old house with stories flowing through it's walls, land we could work on, a space that we could pour our love into and let our passions expand. The very next day the universe must have been listening. While we were drinking lattes, noshing on poached eggs with wild mushrooms in sage beurre blanc and licking up lavender honey at a little French cafe, our home we had been asking for appeared on Hannah's phone (literally it was on the listing when she pulled it out) waiting for us to scope out its magical grounds. It even had a claw foot bathtub!  We immediately drove to the property and fell in love. A 1920's home on 4 acres waiting for love and prosperity. Our group of 6 formed immediately and now the concept of our commune has been born. We are all artists and teachers in some way shape or form, all having a trade, all having our roles, ALL having the same intention-to form a sustainable, loving, creative community where we can share our love with one another, to learn how to live together in a spirit of honesty and compassion, to live as self- sufficiently as possible. We are starting off the new year in our new home. Oh my, how are our lives are going to change...and others around us. This is going to be the start of something we can't even grasp right now...all our visions melting together and creating something extraordinary. This is something well worth documenting...stay tuned :)

-We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make our world. -Buddha

We are making OUR WORLD :)

The Birth of...ME

The end of teacher training? Already? It's concluded and all I want to do is go back to the beginning to do it all over again, study more, not hit the wall of rebellion, and absorb more yoga. But mostly I don't want it to be over because of the bond I have made with my fellow yogi classmates and enjoying the presence of our instructor Melissa with us every weekend pouring out her knowledge of yoga and life. However all of these things are frivolous thoughts because I did the best I could at the time, and I DID create lifelong relationships with my yoga clan. If I could recommend one thing to everyone I encounter (besides raw chocolate) it would be to go through a yoga teacher training. My life has changed. I can feel it outside my body, I can feel it inside my body, I can feel it all around me. I have opened up so much internally that it has become intimidating to recognize the ghastly realizations of my discoveries since it means changing. I am a huge advocate for change, but that doesn't distort the scary factor, that leap of faith that needs to be leaped upon be it relationships, jobs, obstacles, or breaking old habits. I thought I was 'aware' before I jumped into this immersion of all that is yoga...and now I come out of it, AWARE. When you reach a higher level of awareness, brace yourself. There is no going back. These wheels are in motion and the doors that have opened to get here have now closed and locked behind me. It's time to enter the new doors that lie ahead. Patience of course must be practiced and the events that await will soon come to me. I will remain confident in the fact that I AM ME, and that I will not sacrifice that for anything or anyone. I will not say sorry for not knowing something. I will learn it and I will know it. Make a mistake, it is perfectly ok, you need some confusion so that you learn. It's all about experience. I will open-open-open my heart even if it means it's so big and vulnerable that it may scare you. Even if that means pieces of it will break, because I know that the pieces will be glued back together with more love. I'm going to remain confident and know that I can do anything, anything, anything! I can. You can. I will not question myself but rather guide myself through intuition and consciousness rather than emotions.
I'm scared to teach. I will not hide that fact. It stirs up my insides to think that people are going to seek me for learning. I need to study more, I need to mess up more. I need this to occur so that I can teach you. I want to teach yoga because yoga is the essence of life. I feel that everyone needs to dive deeper into the shimmering pool and encounter their inner peace, become aware of the meaning of life, know that within each and every one of us is enlightenment, something that cannot be reached from the material or physical world, but the world that resides deep within our layers. I want to share something so significant and life altering, something full of love and positive vibrations, something full of TRUTH and MEANING. I want to encourage my students along their path and keep them on it for as long as they are in this life.
I have no idea what is next, but I need to be prepared for everything that is coming my way, standing tall, heart shining to the world.
I have been born into a new beginning of my life...
Hello world, my name is Kristin. I am a YOGA TEACHER :)

The Great Wonder Wall

I haven't been posting for this latter part of my Yoga Journey, mostly because I hit a wall. A TALL, THICK, unbreakable (it seemed) wall. I rebelled against one of the things I love most, YOGA. This 'block' was big and stagnant and wouldn't budge. My mind started wandering to every other possibility I want to pursue, every place I dream of inhabiting, instead of focusing on the one thing I wanted most- to become a teacher. Wandering, dreaming mind...forever mysterious and playing around with the beautiful temptations that cross it. I stopped going to yoga all together for a week. It was my rebellion stage. I'm not really sure where it came from but it came from behind the corner and hid me from my passion. Hide and seek no more, I am determined to make it through this, even if it takes me longer than the 9 weeks. My teacher and mentor Melissa has been so wonderful and keeps telling me to see my light, that I have such a bright, blinding light. All of us do. I feel I do, but for some reason it is covered by a shade of gray in my heart. I'm trying to paint it with colors so that it vibrantly shines it's beauty, boldness, and grace. This past weekend was one of true wonder and kinetic energy. Full of birthday celebration, new friends, passion filled music, and my wonderful, beautiful mother came out to celebrate! Seeing her, let so much stress and pent up emotion pour out of me. There is something about family that cannot compare to anything else. Her being here made me feel secure and fearless. It was lovely. We had class outside on a grassy noll overlooking the ocean. I was at home in my element, as I could feel the energy flood the space around me as I instructed my admirable classmates into my very favorite of all poses-DANCERS :) Feeling the oceanic wind, smelling the salty air, gazing out into the horizon knowing there is a whole other world on the other side...so far, yet reachable, staring up at the clouds and being supported and loved by the vast universe that surrounds us as we lie on our mats in our final Savasana. Ahhh, this is magic. As if my magic mat could take me anywhere I wanted to be at that moment, but I was exactly where I wanted and needed to be. The next day of class we spent at one of my favorite places, Swami's. I threw my mat to the side and felt the sand between my toes. I drew a heart deep into the sand marking my space...closed my eyes and set my intention...to focus on the balance, the love, the gifts that come from every moment I breathe. Every practice different than the next. New day, new practice. Something positive and powerful is in the air and I have realized that this 'block' was only an illusion, just waiting to be broken down. I can do this, I will do this. This teacher training is the birth of something bigger than I can imagine. I am reaching deep inside the unknown and pulling out new surprises every time. I am so grateful for the amazing friends that I have made on this journey. My fellow yogis are beautiful, sensational, strong, teachers that I have, and continue to learn so much from. This is just the beginning for us. Wherever we are in life, see it. Recognize it. Accept it. Know that the blocks that bind us and try and stop us from pursuing our passions are not real, but ghostly images of reflections that we so easily can step through with ease and grace.
Love, Light, & Peace
-K

Ground Your Root, Shine Your Crown - What keeps you from your MUKTI?

What is the purpose of this life? We are all different yet we are all here on the same path, the same journey, WE are ALL striving for ONENESS, PEACE, ENLIGHTENMENT. We are indeed. So, how do we achieve this beautiful collaboration of desires? We find BALANCE. And how do we find balance? A lot of things. For me I find balance in nature, in drinking herbal teas, in my yoga practice, my meditations, eating juicy fruits, my long conversations with close loved friends, kissing, staring at the stars, cooking, reading, wading and floating through any body of water I find, making shapes from the clouds, soaking up knowledge from inspirational teachers, reading fortunes...and the list goes on and on.
Most importantly we need to assess the system of balance and low and behold these are The Seven Chakras present in our being, Seven Chakras in bedded in our spine from the tailbone to the crown of our head. Besides this there is 88,000 little lights of energy surging all within our presence. Our bodies, like everything in this world are an intricate weaving of ENERGY. When the Chakras are blocked our lives become imbalanced. The Seven Chakras consist of 1-Root, 2-Sacral, 3-Solar Plexus, 4-Heart, 5-Throat, 6-Third Eye, 7-Crown. Are you not eliminating waste freely from your body? Feeling sorry for yourself-always craving attention? Compulsive and excessive behavior? Heart broken? (Yes, it is true our hearts really do break). Having trouble voicing your dreams and what you SEE yourself doing in life? Stressed out? Not being truthful to yourself and/or others? Stuck in your mind and not willing to open it up to unknown circumstances-not willing to go with the flow? Not willing to surrender to the universe knowing that there is something greater than you out there, do you believe that physical reality is all there is? If you answered yes to any of these then get to work on freeing those highways of yours, remove the road blocks and experience VITALITY.
As I lay in my Savasana (Corpse Pose) tonight I closed my eyes and felt the most overwhelming, but welcoming sense of presence. I was there in that moment feeling the energy in my body and it was pretty damn amazing.
Ground yourself, love your body and express your sexuality, make sure your digestion is free and clear of blockage, create strong immunity and OPEN your heart, voice your dreams-visions, be sensitive and aware to surroundings outside the body, find balance between the physical body/state and the divine power within you...your soul. By being free you are honoring yourself, and you must honor yourself before making others happy. Become truth, trust yourself and go a little bit deeper...
ACCEPTANCE, CREATIVITY, COMMITMENT, COMPASSION, TRUTH, INTUITION, BOUNDLESSNESS and RADIANCE are the human talents we hold once we free ourselves...
MUKTI=Freedom
Ask yourself, "What keeps you from your Mukti?"
Love is Free,
-K

Soul Vibrations-My Intro to Meditation

Tonight our lecture was focused on meditation and hosted by a beautiful being, Yoga Dave. Meditation is a fairly new practice for me, that I didn't think I knew much about or how to get to that 'point'. However, meditation can be found in anything you do-breathing, washing dishes, dancing, listening to music, dreaming, walking, swimming, kissing, prayer, surfing, hiking, staring at the ocean, into the fire, up at the clouds...or sitting on your sit bones with your legs crossed and your palms facing up or down. You can even lie down and do it. Pretty much you can meditate many different ways, but make sure that posture is in check and you are comfortable where you are because you want to be free of pain so that your body can focus on just being. Before this class I thought you had to take special classes to know how to meditate, that you needed specific tools to reach this certain feeling of 'enlightenment'. I come to find out all you need is your breath, an open mind, and an effort to silence those scurrying thoughts. However if your mind wanders than that's alright! Just come back into stillness when allowed. Meditation is different for everyone but I feel the main focus is to escape the busy, stimulating, advertising driven, stress-filled, traffic jam of an outside world and find the inner world that resides well, inside of you. A world of peace, silence, love, compassion. A connection between the mind (that crazy spinning, super intelligent, complex mind of ours) and our heart. Be ZEN. Which means the act of nothingness, the most direct experience to reality, to not label anything and have no pre-conceived notions of what things already are. For each breath in and out create a new experience. Things are moving so fast in this world. So fast. How do we escape the craziness? What do we do so that we are not engulfed by this 'society' and we don't go insane? Ideally camping trips, hiking adventures, nature getaways is where I need to go for a few days here and there, but since my life is so busy at the moment then I need a more constant practice so that I may stay grounded and light. Through meditation I hope to achieve a constant flow of beautiful and positive energy that allows me to navigate freely into the world. Fear of uncertainties arise but nothing in this life is guaranteed. We are our own destiny. As I prepared for my meditation tonight, legs crossed, sit bones grounded into my block, hands cupped in my lap forming a little window with my thumbs, eyes closed, Ujjayi breath in...out, forming that oceanic sound-I heard people chattering outside, the room was hot, sweat dripping down my face, neck, chest, I focused on counting to ten first breath in 1, first breath out 1 and did so until I reached 10. If I lost my count I went back to 1 As I let the thoughts run away from my mind swirls of caramels and blacks rippled in their place. I was thinking nothing, just focused on my breath...then a huge whirling sucking sound appeared...ahhh what is THIS?? It was a vaccuum, they were cleaning outside. 1, 1, 2, 2, 3, 3, 4, 4...I dove right back into my focus. I like this, this sanctuary of nothingness. Dave said a beautiful thing about becoming a yoga teacher in that we have the opportunity to change many peoples lives by sharing the knowledge of what we learn and passing it on and within each of us we hold the power to do so...share the positive vibrations each and every day. Namaste.

Inhale...Exhale

Second week of teacher training has gone by and I have been learning an abundance of information about yoga....and myself. It's really a beautiful thing to be with a group of people that are so open with everything in their lives. It's helping myself, and everyone I believe to grow our trees :) Recently I feel like I've been experiencing somewhat of a quarter life crisis, since it is nearing that time coming this November 5th. Twenty-five. Whew. I've been stressed-which is a word uncommonly used in my vocabulary, exhausted, and I feel that my judgement has been clouded. So, I take this as life telling me that some changes need to be made, even though there is a lot of transition going on in my life, there are personal endeavors that need to erupt. Clearing my mind and making room for the new memories, the present moment, detaching myself from past people, situations that I know in my heart no matter what they have done, I need to have love in my mind and in my heart for. Love for all beings. Because love takes positive energy, an energy that doesn't drain the body of essential life. Anger, resentment, and regrets suck so much out without replenishing vital nutrients, and the only person I am hurting is myself. This also brings me to another elmination-sugar. Sugar is a friend of mine and it doesn't allow me to just have one zing, it makes sure and creates itself into all kinds of different personas so that I latch on to it like a needy companion. One day I might have a nice, simple, balanced relationship with this 'friend' but for now, during these next 9 weeks of teacher training, I have decided to say goodbye so that my mind can be clear of clouds and filled with light. Fruits are still going to be included, but refined sugar found in those delectable dark chocolate coated everything sold at Trader Joe's-adios. A new place to call home has also presented itself at a classical moment. I am moving in with a fellow yogi at the end of this week in a precious place nestled in one of the oldest neighborhoods in San Diego. There is a pecan tree in the backyard and the leaves on the ground remind me of back home in the Midwest. There's actually trees which is a nice amenity in San Diego seeing as the greenery here is sparse AND a glorious old antique stove. There's just something about vintage anything that brings me joy-it's a trip to the honored past. I am delighted for this new venture, with a new spirit. There are some other life alterations to be made within the near future, so I'm wishing and putting out in the universe that these happen, at the right time of course :) We were asked in lecture, 'What is Yoga?' Yoga is the place where I go to seek and find balance, to see into myself, to ground myself to the earth through all four corners of my feet, to go deep into my core and find that internal heat that radiates throughout every inch of my body, to OPEN MY HEART and shine it brightly to the universe...Yoga is my happy place. A plethora of information is being discussed and demonstrated in class and I am trying to absorb what I can. It still hasn't resonated that I am doing all of this to become a teacher. My instructor keeps telling us, 'There is a teacher inside of all of you'. This is the truth. Teacher inside of me, come out, come out wherever you are...

My Yoga Quest into Teacher Training

On my way to being a teacher? Wow, this is going to be a big obstacle for me! On our first day of yoga we were asked to get up in front of the class and talk about ourselves, why we loved yoga, what obstacle we hope to overcome...I figured this little presentation would come easy to me seeing as I have a history of customer service jobs therefor I am always conversing with people. As it approached my turn to make my way in front of the mirror to present to the half circle of 12 or so students sitting in our super nifty posture chairs (which I am so buying-they are wonderful!) my heart started to race and I literally thought it was going to leap out of my chest. 'Kristin, are you ready?' 'Oh, no way,' I thought to myself. As I faced everyone I said my name which I'm surprised I didn't forget seeing as I was shaking like a tiny Chiuaua, why I loved yoga, which I think I said the word balance numerous times, and then my obstacle, which I remembered and said that it was commitment. I am infamously known for this lovely trait and have a hard time fully committing to something. If things start to get a little hard, or demand too much from me then I usually opt for the easy way out and run away from it because sometimes it's easier to dream of something else and not give my whole heart to one thing. Now this isn't to be confused with things that I actually need to separate myself away from or things that I know pretty quickly just aren't for me, because situations arise like that also that I know in order to keep my focus and way of life I need to remove myself from the situation. But for me, this yoga teacher training is a HUGE commitment. One that I am very excited and a little scared of. I may talk to people all day but to actually TEACH, to actually have students come to my class because they enjoy what I have to offer, because they want to share the energy I put off and they want to learn from ME, this is a big, scary, amazing, aspiring role I want to become. We are all here on this earth to teach one another something. To share what we know. I know I am here to share happy, healthy energy with the people around me and yoga is essential in every one's lives who aspire to know their true selves, their higher being, their center. This whole thing kind of fell into my lap and I am going with it. I remember always admiring yoga teachers and admiring yoga and all it's meaning and always told myself that I wanted to get into this world, this happy, meaningful world, but for some reason didn't think it possible. My friend gave me a free weeks pass and I went every day that week, sometimes even 2x in one day because I loved how it made me feel so much. Yoga is my time, shared with others who are all there for different reasons. I am there because my practice is my happy place, it is my place where I can look myself into the eyes in the mirror deeply and know that I love who I am looking at and looking through (because sometimes it gets that intense) and I love this life that is given to me and this crazy outside world is but a place where I am an inhabitant of, but my life, it's mine...to do whatever I want with, to share with everyone, to open my heart, and to show compassion whenever and wherever I go. Yoga keeps me grounded to the earth and all it's beautiful perplexity. This is just the beginning of a very memorable journey and without a doubt KNOW that my life is going to change within these next 9 weeks, so I say to you change with an open heart and an open mind, 'Welcome' :)